i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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