Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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