Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
