I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I want a musical about memes.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
