this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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