I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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