just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Randomize
