I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
