okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize