I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
