I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
