I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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