I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
