used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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