is your mom at the bar?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize