She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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