So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
they need to just BURY HIM!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
