people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
