Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
