I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
