he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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