I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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