Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
