Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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