If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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