no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Randomize
