I faked an abortion last night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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