it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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