I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
