I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
