i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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