the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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