bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Randomize
