you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You left your phone here
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