Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
