Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
