hotel room ftw
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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