another moral hangover. fuck.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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