my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize