so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She said her name was "party"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We had sex on a dog bed..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
