His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
