she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
