a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize