We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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