then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
