Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
