All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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