found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
