he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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