i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize