so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
