is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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