That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize