Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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