Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize