Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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