Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
