walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
