Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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