There was a lot of him and a little penis
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize