i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
