You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
